My blog hasn't been updated in awhile because 1. I've been sick with a bronchial pneumonia thing- it hasn't killed me, but it's kind of taken the wind out of my sails. 2. I haven't know what to blog about.
It's one of those situations where I'm not sure what to do next. When I look back on 2012, it was an ok year. Certainly nothing really bad happened. I stayed warm and dry, well fed, entertained by good friends and had lots of chances to craft and search for junk and have (relative) economic security. I'm grateful for that and know I'm better off than so many.
I'd like 2013 to be a better year. I'm not even sure what I mean by better. I have an idea that some of it will involve me being less passive about life.
It's so easy to get up, go to work, come home, watch TV, eat dinner, go to bed. And then just throw in the occasional "make something" or "hunt for some junk". I know how to do it, it's low stress and requires very little effort.
On some blogs, I've seen people say what their "word for the year" is. "Fierce". "Determined." "Open."
Oh my gosh, that requires so much thought and gumption. I'm thinking my words for the year should just be "wake up".
I know I've told many people, follow your heart- but what if your heart is kind of just plodding around with the rest of you?
When I was younger, I was a great goal setter- and I got a lot done. I had lists, diagrams, and my life was run by a Franklin planner. I devoted an hour every Sunday to mapping out my life with my planner and all of its gadgets and inserts. Sounds a little "Stepford Wives" doesn't it? But it did work.
Maybe I need to do a more laid back version of the same thing for 2013. I've been playing in my guerilla journal. Maybe I should make room for some lists in it.
I call it guerilla because it's not pretty- mostly spit, string and rubber bands. Ok, I'm kidding, but it is rag-tag recycled. It's a desk calendar with heavy pages and a nice thick cover. I've just randomly slapped paper on the pages- pictures I like, things I see in the newspaper, sheet music, wallpaper...whatevers close at hand. I doodle a little, too- it's very relaxing even if its not pretty.
I just went back and read what I've written and I think my malaise falls into two categories:
1. If you want some excitement, you have to take some risk.
2. You have to figure out what risks are going to give you the most bang for you buck- what is it that's going to make you happy. Something that, even if it doesn't go the way you planned, you're glad you tried it anyway.