Could Someone Hand Me the Map Please?

My blog hasn't been updated in awhile because 1.  I've been sick with a bronchial pneumonia thing- it hasn't killed me, but it's kind of taken the wind out of my sails.  2. I haven't know what to blog about. 

It's one of those situations where I'm not sure what to do next.  When I look back on 2012, it was an ok year.  Certainly nothing really bad happened.  I stayed warm and dry, well fed, entertained by good friends and had lots of chances to craft and search for junk and have (relative) economic security.  I'm grateful for that and know I'm better off than so many.

I do know that if I keep on doing what I'm doing, I'll get the same results.  And that's ok, but I just think if I knew how to look, I could find more.

I'd like 2013 to be a better year.  I'm not even sure what I mean by better.  I have an idea that some of it will involve me being less passive about life. 

It's so easy to get up, go to work, come home, watch TV, eat dinner, go to bed. And then just  throw in the occasional "make something" or "hunt for some junk".  I know how to do it, it's low stress and requires very little effort.

On some blogs, I've seen people say what their "word for the year" is. "Fierce".  "Determined."  "Open." 

Oh my gosh, that requires so much thought and gumption.  I'm thinking my words for the year should just be "wake up".

I know I've told many people, follow your heart- but what if your heart is kind of just plodding around with the rest of you?

When I was younger, I was a great goal setter- and I got a lot done.  I had lists, diagrams, and my life was run by a Franklin planner.  I devoted an hour every Sunday to mapping out my life with my planner and all of its gadgets and inserts.  Sounds a little "Stepford Wives" doesn't it?  But it did work.

Maybe I need to do a more laid back version of the same thing for 2013.  I've been playing in my guerilla journal. Maybe I should make room for some lists in it.

I call it guerilla because it's not pretty- mostly spit, string and rubber bands. Ok, I'm kidding, but it is rag-tag recycled. It's a desk calendar with heavy pages and a nice thick cover.  I've just randomly slapped paper on the pages- pictures I like, things I see in the newspaper, sheet music, wallpaper...whatevers close at hand.  I doodle a little, too- it's very relaxing even if its not pretty.

Maybe a little bit of writing,planning and goal setting would lead me to a more inspired 2013.  (Maybe just getting off my butt would, too.)

I just went back and read what I've written and I think my malaise falls into two categories:

1.  If you want some excitement, you have to take some risk.

2.  You have to figure out what risks are going to give you the most bang for you buck- what is it that's going to make you happy.  Something that, even if it doesn't go the way you planned, you're glad you tried it anyway.

Comments

[Rachael]

Happy New Year Beth! your needlework is exquisite (first photo). Wow hope you feeling better, keep forgetting you guys are in winter while we are bathed in hot sunny days! Sounds like your 2012 was pretty good actually, I'm all for goals and striving blah blah blah but what it really gets down to is being happy and content in life. Said she who has a goal list for 2013 that is a mile long and some! Better haul my butt of this computer chair and do something! Rachael xo

[jeanie]

Hi, Beth and happy new year to you -- I'm glad your health is on the mend. There's something going around that is wiping out everyone. I'm glad it's leaving your house!

I understand your malaise but from a different point of view. I'm thinking (and I may be wrong) that your stuff is all right, it just isn't special anymore. It's the same thing perhaps in part because that's always worked -- but it lacks the challenge you seek. In my case, malaise comes from having a job I don't like, counting down days (literally -- 219) till retirement and coming home exhausted with no energy or passion to create (or sometimes do anything more strenuous than feed the cat and watch Downton Abbey -- which is a good thing!).

You said it spot-on right here: "But what if your heart is kind of just plodding around with the rest of you?"

"Wake Up" is a great phrase. I don't even know that it has to be goals -- maybe a list of things you'd like to do -- old faves and something new and challenging. Then tackling it bit by bit till it feels right.

I do hope, though, that you maintain your blog, because in some ways, this sounds like it could be an exciting year for you and I'd like to be on the journey!

[Louise Oakes]

Happy new year Beth.

I hope you're feeling better, I've had a cold myself, which is no joke when you have chronic fatigue.

I kmow whar you mean about one day drifting into another. I have started a plan for my blog, shop etc, but that's already gone poof because I've been ill. But I do need something to give me an impetus or my days are the same and a week easily turns into a month!

Love the embroidery on the first picture.

[karla nathan]

You've spent too much time with me and my lackidasical attitude with no goals!!

Missed you at craft day today, hope you are feeling better.

[Laurie]

Oh Beth, I am right there with you. I need A PLAN! I sure hope you are on the road to recovery!

[Annette]

Hi Beth, glad you are on the mend. a friend had the same thing and it took a long time to fully recover...just don't overdo. I love your idea of your journal. I have a board in my "nest" but it is full and I want to add to it...the journal may help! After I retired I have loved having no plan and find I am super busy. Lately I have been trying to get everything out of my life that causes any disruption....clutter, disorganization, people,mall space, etc. I think I am needing more control from inside myself rather than outside myself. Maybe that is your situation. Hope you don't give up the blog as I enjoy it very much. You will figure it all out in time. Trying to figure it out when you feel yucky may not be the best time. Sending good wishes your way!! Annette :>)

[Sharon Penney-Morrison]

Maybe the first thing is to go see your Dr. You could be depressed, or, forbid the word, pre-menapausal. It does strange things to a person...and yes, you are old enough.

I understand your funk. I get that way certain times of the year. I just walk away from my studio and stay out of it for as long as it takes. I read, watch the grass grow, clean out closets, or surf the internet for inspiration.

I take my meds...this is a must!!

Will keep you close to my heart.

[Terri]

I sort of feel the same way you do. Life is good. It could probably be better, but right now I'm fairly happy with the lack of excitement. After 30+ years of working, as an introvert in a extrovert-heavy industry, I love the peace and quiet of retirement, but I'm finding that if I don't stir things up a bit every now and then, someone will come along and do it for me! : ) Hang in there and enjoy your year!

[Mary]

I'm so sorry you've got consumption, or the croup, or whatever it is. I imagine a a bit of risk-taking and goal-setting would be helpful for me too this year, so perhaps you'll inspire me!

[Sandy]

Beth,

Were you writing about me too? It could be my story down to the last four weeks of trying to get over bronchial pneumonia! A friend and I were recently discussing how much we used to accomplish, how goal oriented we were, and how ambitious our plans were. I just don't have the drive I used to and feel like I too am limping along. I cannot for certain say it is my age, if I have become passive, if I am bored with the same old same old, or if I have just (in my case only mind you) become plain old lazy. Your post gave me much food for thought. It really helps to know that I am not alone.

[barbara]

I hear you. Honestly, taking that trip to Ohio last year changed my life (and I'm not sure a lot of people have had their life changed by an Ohio weekend, but I have a low threshold for excitement). I keep meaning to write about it ... you've kind of inspired me to do that.

[Lena]

I hope you're feeling much better soon, Beth. My son has been ill with a similar bug, and it's taken weeks for him to feel better.

Your words for the year are interesting, and ones that I can relate to, but in a different sort of way. I truly wish I could wake up in a literal way, but do to a couple of meds I take, I'm usually feeling pretty tired, as a side effect. Hopefully, I can one day stop taking them.

I always feel like you are accomplishing a lot. I need to define and refine my goals, sort of in a less is more, sort of a way, I think.

Best wishes to you.

[JoAnnn Bayne]

I'm enjoying looking around in your blog - I came here from a comment you made some time ago on the blog A Happy Miscellany. I have a strange request - do you have any way to contact Lena. I noticed in her latest post she is talking of perhaps making a crazy quilt. I am no longer quilting and have a lovely bag of fancy fabrics - velvets, satins,wools - that I need to get rid of and I thought it would be nice if she had them.

If you don't feel comfortable giving me her email - could you giver her mine joann.bayne@gmail.com and ask her if she would contact me if she wants the fabrics. I hope you still have her email. I have not found a post that was open to comments, and was disappointed in that when I found that she wanted crazy quilt fabrics. Than you so much.

[lisa]

Beth,
What a good post, I have so many things I want to comment on but I cannot get the Franklin Planner out of my head! Remember they were the S(*&? Like the ipad of it's day, almost as expensive. At least to me. Then every year you tore out the guts for new pages. Are they even around anymore?
I actually read all the comments left which I don't' do very often. Saw Mary's and thought she said constipation which was very funny then realized it was consumption which is funnier! But after reflection I'm going with constipation. Have you thought about a colonic? I hear it will clear your head & you may lose a couple of pounds.
I also agree with Jeannie, maybe you should go take a down and dirty class. No glitter or dress up, just power tools & fire. Learn something totally new.
Lisa

[tina]

What a great post Beth - I think you´re writing about me too. I´m exactly there too.
I feel some things are changing but just can´t get hold of it - yet
You know I´ve been into journal making lately too - great idea with some lists in them.

[bobbie]

Maybe a Dream Board would help you clarify what, exactly, it is you want for yourself...

Keep it very spontaneous, and see what emerges in the forefront ~

I know it has helped me in the past ~ all best luck!

[Sheila R]

I so enjoy visiting your blog and seeing your artwork! Wishing you a great New Year!

[Mitzi Curi]

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling under the weather. Apparently, that's been sweeping the nation! I'm sure you'll get motivated once your health returns.

I learned my lesson after I told friends on Facebook 2013 was going to be the "best year of my life." Right after that, I washed my new cell phone in the washing machine, and our main water line backed up....what a mess!